With friends like you
Who needs friends?
With friends like you
Who needs friends?

With friends like you
Who needs friends?
With friends like you

You know ya left the window open
And now the cat is gone
And my girlfriend says you're really sweet
What the hell is going on?

You never gave me back my leather jacket
And now it's out of style
And I warned you that that incense burner
Would set my house on fire

Now I'm not gonna to beat you up
Or drag you through the mud
I just want all my CD's back
In the cases with the artwork still intact

With friends like you
Who needs friends?
With friends like you
Who needs friends?

With friends like you
Who needs friends?
With friends like you
Who needs friends?

Like when the guy punched you in Reno
Had a lawyer for a dad
He got us mixed up and sued my ass
Man, that was really cool of you

To fix me up with a girl from work
That used to be a guy
When you lost all my money on the Superbowl
It made me wanna cry

And I'm not gonna beat you up
Or drag you through the mud
When the pending file sharing suit goes down

And why'd you need the whole Metallica catalog anyway?
We haven't liked them for 12 years
We like The Queers, we like beers
Stuck with Van Halen halfway through the Sammy years
And now it's over, yeah

You know ya left the back door open
And now the dog is gone
And my girlfriend says you're really sweet
What the fuck is going on?

You never gave me back my leather jacket
And now it's out of style
I should have beat you with your Birkenstock
When you set my house on fire

With friends like you
Who needs friends?
With friends like you
Who needs friends?

With friends like you
Who needs friends?
With friends like you
With friends like you
Who needs friends?