You're the reason I'm ridin' 'round on recapped tyres
An' you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on walls
An' you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
Ah, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But, I love you just the same

You're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop
An' you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop
You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
Oh, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But, I love you just the same

I guess that we won't ever have, everything we need
'Cause when we get ahead, it's got another mouth to feed

And that's the reason my good looks and my figure's gone
And that's the reason I ain't got no hair to comb
An' you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
Ah but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But, I love you just the same

Conway, why in the devil don't you gon'
And shave an' put on a clean pair of pants?
Loretta, look at yourself
I wish you'd take them curlers out of your hair
An' go put on a little bit of make up
An' get out of the housecoat before supper

Ha well let me tell you somethin', Conway
Considerin' everything I went through today
I look like a movie star
Yeah, Ruth Cassidy
Thank you

Besides that
All of our kids took after your part of our family anyway
Oh they did, huh? What about the one's that's bald?
Well, I guess you might say they took after me